Do What You Have To Do
by indulgence
Summary: A songfic about an alternate pairing ...3xR...if you don't like them then please stay away. Somewhat mushy..


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Author's notes: For it to be easier for me, this fic took place years after the end of series, meaning Endless Waltz never happened. (:sigh: yup I cheated) _Italics _denotes thoughts while **_//..//_** denotes the song's lyrics.

Disclaimer: I just borrowed the characters they ain't mine. And also the lyrics of the song "Do What You Have To Do" is owned by Sarah Mclachlan and is originally sang beautifully by her too.

**__**

//What ravages of spirit

conjured this temptuous rage  
created you a monster  
broken by the rules of love//

  
His breathing was soft and even, taut roughened flesh that covered the expanse of his chest, arms and legs were unusually relaxed. Her sea-green eyes quietly observed the changes in his features, a melancholy smile descending on her red lips. Unable to resist the gnawing temptation, her hand reached out, gently sweeping his thick brown hair, which allowed her to see the often-concealed side of his face. Slender fingers caressed his soft chiselled cheeks--slick against her touch. His tender face not betraying the troubles or sorrow he had overcome, only unadulterated complacency seeped from the contours of his face. She couldn't deny the fact that the young man before her had gradually embodied what her life had been lacking. To her surprise out of all the people she considered friends, he was the first to see past the crumbling wall and took notice of a disarrayed woman--who never quite grew…alone in the dark.

Missing the touch of her hand, his hair trickled back to its natural style. Warily she disentangled herself from his protective clutches, her reluctant body reminding her of the absence of his warm, sturdy body. The bathrobe slid easily from her lean arms to rest on the curve of her neck, covering her nakedness in return. Golden blonde locks swayed automatically, as the velvet carpet eagerly swallowed the sound of her footsteps. Thick, fiery flames flickered vibrantly from the confines of the fireplace, casting shadows that playfully taunted the sylph woman.

**__**

//and fate has lead you through it  
you do what you have to do  
and fate has led you through it  
you do what you have to do ...//

The glass was cold beneath her touch, faint moisture materialized around her uncalloused fingers. Her grim eyes lazily noted how graceful the autumn leaves danced about the thin air as if they were feathers of yellow, gold and red. Shrouding the barren ground with a variety of tints complemented by the fullness of the moon, which towered over them like a mother hen would over her brood. The young woman felt the touch of the cold air while the wind rustled behind the unyielding structures of bricked wall, and latched balcony doors. Her clothed arms awkwardly encircled herself, in hopes of warding off the non-existent coldness. Would the days be colder without him? Her eyes of sea watched the translucent reflection before her darken with solemnity, unaware that the man in bed stirred awake.

**__**

// and I have the sense to recognize that  
I don't know how to let you go  
every moment marked  
with apparitions of your soul //

'When shall it all end?…the waltz that seem to have no end in sight?' She allowed her thoughts to rush out from her troubled mind, her eyes wandering to the white moon, asking for answers. But it remained silent, and the answers it carried for ages remained encrypted in its beauty, beckoning for her to solve the riddles it only presented. Her brows furrowed into a frown. The ideals she advocated brought her nowhere close to what she had hoped for, on the contrary her goal of peace seemed to move farther away from her grasp. Was she cursed by fate to fail? Her consciousness nagged her, breaking through the layers of questions that thwarted her. In an instant she sensed it, the thick cloth around her unravelling into sheer strips of veil, her bare soul writhing beneath the piercing gaze. Her arms involuntarily tightened around her, and she quickly turned around. Striking eyes of green greeted her sight, the dim illumination fell like a gray tarpaulin over the tall figure, and the gaze intensified even more. His being often reminded her of a feline—observant and patient, matched fittingly with the agile and furtive manner in which he carried himself, and eyes of emerald green that sparkled enigmatically. Indeed he was very much like a predator lurking in the shadows waiting for the perfect moment. 

**__**

//I'm ever swiftly moving  
trying to escape this desire  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
the yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
but I have the sense to recognize// 

His knuckles gently stroked the flesh beneath her chin, as he slowly tilts her head to look at him. "It's not your fault." The deep voice said soothingly, she shook her head and turned her back to him.

"I wish I could believe you." Her melodious voice bitterly said, her eyes staring out the window. From the corner of her eye, she saw him position himself beside her. His bare back rested on the cold wall--arms folded in front of his chest. The black jeans that were once strewn in the floor covered his long muscular legs and allowed him to nestle quietly in the dark, his face towards the interior of the room. She sighed and felt her heart go to _him,_ and also to the other gundam pilots, and other soldiers like them. Under her influence, peace was supposed to be established and deemed fighting unnecessary. Yet here they were again preparing for another battle. "It was suppose to end…this waltz."

"It cannot come to an end if mankind continues to play the same symphony." He whispered softly, gazing at her direction, she found herself step closer to him, in her blood the yearning to touch him flowed uncontrollably. Her slender hand seemed small in his, yet it snugly fit with one another, as if it was carved out of the same wood. 

"Sometimes, I wonder if my brother was right all along— if a war that would claim the lives of many could be the only way to achieve true peace." She gently placed her finger upon his lips, a rueful smile formed in hers. "And that I was mistaken to have more faith in mankind than they did." She turns her gaze away from his eyes, afraid that he would see what the other half of her truly felt. _'Please stay. Don't go off fighting again.'_

**__**

//that I don't know how  
to let you go  
I don't know how  
to let you go//

She felt his arms slid around her and pull her closer to him. "You cannot carry the faults of others in your shoulders. You have enough as it is." He whispered softly in her ears, causing a tingle within her. She looked at him, their noses barely touching. 

"What you're asking me to do is like me imploring you to not fight." Her voice faltering, she couldn't help but subtly insinuate what she felt, her lips quirked a bit, "And that request of mine would be quickly dismissed by you." 

He quietly studied her then simple stated, "You don't want me to go."

"It would have never come to this if I accomplished what was intended." Her eyes unable to look at his yet she could feel him gazing at her again and felt the rising urge to hide behind her long golden tresses that softly cascaded from her shoulders. The unsettling silence seemed to stretch for hours in her mind, when it truth it was only in minutes before it was broken by his quiet voice.

"I'll come back." He said soothingly, tucking her sweet scented hair behind her ear. _'You don't know that…what if…' _Her thoughts berated him quietly, but in the outside her diplomatic façade slipped smoothly in her features, "Of course you will."

**__**

//a glowing ember  
burning hot  
burning slow  
deep within I'm shaken by the violence  
of existing for only you//

His hand, that held hers, was comforting her senses as they treaded silently on the halls of the Preventers' Headquarters. Her mind screaming to persuade him to not go—to not leave her behind. She could just see time sneering at her, while it flew by. The hours to spend with him were dwindling to minutes, and later to seconds. Her mind sighed everything was just against her, even fate who had led him to her was now threatening to pull them apart. 

"Ojousan!" A voice shouted enthusiastically before she felt herself engulfed in warm embrace.

"Duo! It's been awhile." She managed to say after overcoming her surprise and returned his hug. The braided young man looked at the other man accompanying Relena and flashed his trade marked cheshire grin. Turning to him he offered his hand to him, "Hey, Trowa ole' buddy!"

The latter took the offered hand and shook it, a smile forming in his lips, "Hello to you to Duo." 

"How's Hilde doing?" She asked the buoyant gundam pilot, who seem to be bouncing in her eyes.

"She's resting at this moment somewhere in this building, I wanted her to be around Sally during her pregnancy." He answered quietly and seemed to be in deep thought, his eyes drifted to what Trowa was carrying and his eyes widened. "You're bringing all that?!"

A smile fell on her lips and she answered for her silent lover, "Actually no, those are my things. I have been requested by the president of ESUN to mediate a conference in Budapest between the representatives of colony X-18899 and colonies of L3, L2 and L1." 

Duo was about to speak when the intercom above them blared loudly, informing soldiers that the departure for the resource satellite MO-II would commence in thirty minutes. After a quick hug and goodbye, the pilot of Deathscythe left to say his final goodbye to his wife, his braid swishing behind him. "See you in the shuttle Trowa." His voice echoed through the hall and she felt her heart tugged upon hearing those words and her eyes cast down on the floor. 

**__**

//I know I can't be with you  
I do what I have to do  
I know I can't be with you  
I do what I have to do//

She looked down on the runway that stretched mightily on the once green fields now crudely covered with asphalt. A peculiar turn at the end, which ultimately led to a northward pathway, caught her eye. Many shuttles have been savagely thrust to the heavenly skies through this runway, defying the natural laws of gravity. Several lines of enthusiastic new soldiers were slowly accumulating around the shuttles, while veteran soldiers wearily trudged about behind them. Her mind persisted in reminding her that the man that held her closely, would later be joining them to their own possible demise--her heart wrenched at her pessimistic musings and she nestled closer in his warm embrace.

**__**

//and I have sense to recognize but  
I don't know how to let you go//

He leaned down towards her and softly took her lips with his, this act of affection triggered her mind to tumble in a state of ecstatic stupor—her rational thinking quickly overridden. Her sea green eyes fluttered open to gaze intently in his green eyes. His hand gently caressed her face as if he was trying to memorize details of her face. "I have to go now." His voice said solemnly, she tiptoed and gave him a feather kiss on his lips.

**__**

//I don't know how to let you go//

"Take care." She whispered to him, a saddened smile befell on her lips. He merely nodded and gently squeezed her hand. "You too." With that he turned away from her and slowly walked his way to the waiting shuttle, his eyes never looking back. She looked on his retreating figure, fighting the urge to run after him. She felt a lump form in her throat and she shook her head, this is his duty and she has hers too. Besides he would return to her arms…he always did. She looked through the glass pane of the window, and saw the soldiers boarding their respective shuttles. And one by one the shuttles were unmercifully thrust to the dark space. Her arms encircled herself, as her eyes stared at the sky to where they disappeared. _'Goodbye…please come back soon….'_

**__**

//I don't know how to let you go//

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